The Art of the Boondoggle
While I was in Australia on a recent business trip, a colleague and friend instant messaged me on Skype and, upon learning where I was and why, pronounced me “king of the boondoggle.” He’s not the first to comment – either admiringly or disparagingly – on my business travels. In the past 15 months, I’ve been to Sydney twice, Mumbai, Berlin twice, Singapore, Hong Kong and Korea. Is that really all that much?
Because so many have asked me, I feel compelled to set the record straight here and provide a few words of advice.
Proper discussion begins with definition of the term “boondoggle.” Alas, the entry on “Boondoggle” in Wikipedia refers to the “North American arts and crafts activity in which you use flat strings.” For example, see this key chain:
This is not what I mean.
Dictionary.com provides a definition that more closely resembles modern usage in the workplace:
Work of little or no value done merely to keep or look busy
Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1). Random House, Inc. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/boondoggle (accessed: February 22, 2007)
I think this is still a bit off, so I propose an operational definition that is more colloquially accurate in the context of today’s modern office:
A boondoggle is any business trip in which the amount of entertainment appears to be greater than the amount of actual work.
Please comment! Assuming for a few moments the relative sufficiency of this definition, I’ll now opine on boondoggle best practices.
Basic Skills:
- Eliminate your desire to go. In the feature film, The Tao of Steve, Steve, a moderately successful womanizer, explains that the first step in seduction is the elimination of desire and, thereby, the inevitable accompanying behavioral perversions that will preclude one from seducing. Similarly, if you overtly ask your boss to fly you to Tahiti, your boss surely will resist this blatantly frivolous request. Instead, tell your boss that you couldn’t possibly go and that’s it’s a waste of time, but allow circumstances and others to put forth the inexorable argument that your presence absolutely is necessary on that island.
- Have a legitimate business purpose. Once a potential travel opportunity has been identified, you must have an actual business objective to achieve once there. Good examples: conferences, meetings, research – in which you have a role to play. Bad examples: golf, sunning, gambling, boating, carousing, drinking, etc. Without this business purpose, you are on vacation.
- Do your job. A common misperception among boondoggle novitiates is that once at the destination work can be dispensed with entirely. Witness the numerous individuals “let go” by companies after flying to exotic locations to attend conferences they did not, ultimately, attend. Do not fall into this trap. Do your job. Show up to meetings on time, engage, get the work you are paid to be doing accomplished.
- Do not abuse your expense account. Nothing will get you in trouble with the powers-that-be faster. Expense actual, reasonable, work-related costs. Pay for anything personal yourself.
Advanced Techniques:
- Go with your boss. Some may think that a boss on a trip will cramp one’s style. On the contrary, so long as you have a collegial relationship with your boss, his or her presence on the trip will both (a) provide immunity for any malfeasance occurring in which you are both engaged and (b) get you nicer, more expensive meals.
- Manage post-trip impressions. The trip isn’t over once you return. Once you return, meet with your boss and review all that was accomplished. Explain how tiring the travel was and how much you have to catch up on now that you’re back. Demonstrate that you added value, because you did. Really.
- Be careful with photographs. Photographs of you with colleagues inside meeting halls, posing outside of offices, presenting to large audiences – these are all acceptable. Photographs of you drunkenly dancing in a Chinese dragon mask in Singapore – these are not. (Believe me, I know). Video, in particular, is to be avoided. When distributing photos post-trip, take the time to create two separate albums, one for work colleagues and one for friends. Be sure to send the appropriate album to each group.
This is what I have learned that I pass on to you, dear reader. Please leave me comments on your own best practices.
